If I had a million dollars

Apple apparently either knows me too well, or doesn't know me at all. The reason I say this is that they recently sent me about half a dozen e-mails about the new iPad 3... Which on the one hand, yes, I'm sure, is super-dandy and swell and all that jazz, but on the other hand, I can't afford whatsoever. They'd know that if they knew a damn thing about me. So, if I had a bunch of disposable income, sure, I'd probably buy one. But, I don't. So there's that. But that got me thinking about if I DID have a bunch of disposable income... What WOULD I do with it. So, for lack of anything better to fantasize about, I thought of what I'd do if I did, in fact, have a million dollars.

First off, I'd pay off all my debts. I don't have a lot of it accumulated. I have some old school loans and the like, but nothing ridiculous, really. So I'd get that taken care of.

Second, I'd pay off my parents' mortgage. It only seems fair to throw them an extra fifty grand on top of that, seeing as they raised me, and whatnot.

Third, I'd buy a house. Nothing extravagant, just a decent 3 bedroom with lots of windows and in a decent neighborhood. Depending on where I decide to settle, this could be here in the midwest, or maybe someplace on my dream list, like Seattle. (Mmmm Seattle. I have dreams about Seattle.) Then, I'd fill the house with furniture and bookshelves and books, books, books. I love books. (Have I mentioned that?) I'll never buy a Kindle or the like because I'd miss the feeling of a book in my hand. It's one of the things I'm old fashioned about. I love the way they feel, smell, and sound. (That first crack in the spine of a hardcover book? Oh, god, it's heaven.) I'd also probably buy some gaming systems and other et ceteras. Some dvds, some picture frames, maybe an arcade game (Who doesn't want a pacman game in their game room?)

Fourth, I'd travel. I'd get my cats a full-time babysitter (surely someone would agree to that) and go see the world. One of my more ambitious goals is to set foot on every continent in my lifetime. Going with my million dollars might make THAT a bit difficult, but backpacking Europe and Asia is certainly attainable.

Lastly, I'd put the rest in a retirement fund and go back to work. I'm not naive enough to think I can live on a million for the rest of my life, but it can get me through my twenties, probably. So I'd buy a good car and stock up on groceries and re-enter the workforce ready to go.

So maybe I'm boring. I don't want an evil lair, or a death-ray, a clone army or fifty thousand comic books in weather-proof sleeves. I just want some stability, some reliable transportation, and some life experience. I don't think that's out of my reach.

The real trick is, how do I make all of that happen without stumbling upon a cool million?

I suppose we'll just have to see....

---Alamo